Dream Threads

Captain's Log: Kanguary 7th, 2145
A Recollection

        Earth has become completely inhabitable, and humanity has relocated to Mars after a large portion of the population has died.
        It all started on the morning of Kangust (formerly August) 15th, 2144. The dreadful day that everyone... dreaded.
        The day when kangaroos discovered immortality. You see, humanity has always been on the cusp of immortality, however it seems kangaroos have found the last piece of the puzzle that humanity has been struggling to find for the last 50 years. So how did it happen? Most of our immortality research was conducted in the outback of Australia. Joey, a scoutaroo, found a deserted medical lab in the outback. He found our first successful (unbeknownst to us, we thought it was a failure), truly immortal specimen; a stray mouse. Joey brought it undergound, into the massive kangaroo kangization, Kangstraya, to the best sciencoroos this nation could offer. Remarkably, they were able to genetically reverse engineer the mouse, and apply it to kangaroos.

Kangaroo standard weaponry in 2057.

        After their opportunistic success, the kangaroos began demanding land and resources from humanity. Humanity thought that even if the kangaroos were immortal, they would not be able to harm humanity. However, humanity had never seen the kangaroos since the Great Upkanging of 2057, where the kangaroos had simple automatic rifles and explosives (I have attached an image of an infantroo during this time). They thought that they had greater technology than the barbaric kangaroos. And so, the humans declined their demands. With that, the First Interspecious War began on the dawn of Kangcember 2nd, 2144.
        Extraordinarily, the kangaroos' technology had advanced an uncanny amount in a mere 89 years. In fact, they had nearly surpassed the humans. Near this time, war was fought with pulse rifles, Gauss cannons, rail guns, photonically engineered body armor, and nuclear grenades. This arsenal was infantry, however some special units are given stealth technology. Naval and aerial technology has also progressed, but I digress. In a nutshell, kangaroos now possess immortality and lasers.
        As such, humanity began to falter drastically. In a desperate attempt at survival, the central leaders of the human race decided to sacrifice Australia for the greater good by launching several nuclear warheads at Australia. Massive damage was inflicted. While the kangaroos are immortal, their buildings are not. However, much of the kangaroo army was already deployed amongst the world, and the key militaristic and political leaders of Kangstraya still had their governmental buildings intact. This allowed them to continue commanding their army from Kangstraya, and was ultimately what pushed humanity out of Earth.
        We began to plan our relocation to Mars on Kangcember 20th. Most of humanity had been mercilessly killed by the kangaroos. A small population of maybe 50 million remained. Eventually, our spacecraft landed onto Mars and we began to start anew, rebuilding our now destroyed civilization. As I reflect, it is quite embarrassing to have lost a war to an animal in which you had a 2000 year head start on. Honestly though, how kangaroos gained intelligence and thousands of years of human research in a 90 year time span is completely unrealistic. It sounds fictional, like some kind of badly written story.
        I remember the days when the world wasn't ruled by kangaroos. Those were the days. When I was younger, I had a globe that I kept in my room, and I had this recurring dream where my globe was being stolen by a kangaroo. I told my parents and they thought it was just child dreams and that my imagination was running wild. Well, I guess my dreams hopped into reality (I'm sorry this is so stupid I don't even).
     
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Captain Thatcher, Colonel of the 1st Mars Relocation Regime